I love to watch you swim!

I recently read this blog post:
http://www.handsfreemama.com/2012/04/16/six-words-you-should-say-today/

It was a bit eye opening for me.  I realized that I am that mom.  Full of constructive advice (criticism), everything a teachable moment, how to be better, stronger, faster.  But did I say those 6 words "I love to watch you play."?  No, I didn't.  I certainly thought it. I kvelled with pride as I watched them cut through the water doing their best.  But I didn't tell them.  I felt I should let them know how they could do better next time.  Seriously, what was wrong with me?

For the last swim practice of Spring Training I went in to watch for a few minutes.  Parents are not normally allowed on deck to watch (I get that, who wants a bunch of parents watching you do your job) but it was the last one so I took a peek.  Afterwards as each of my children emerged from the locker room I told them "I love to watch you swim."  I can't say I noticed any straightening of the shoulders, the pressure is off moment but what I have noticed in the past few days is a difference in our relationships.  It seems everyone is a little more willing to spend time with me.  "Want to come to the market with me?" I get a yes when in the past it would have been no.

I still feel an urge to "help"  all the time but I am working on controlling myself.