I never feel as if I am getting enough done. I woke up today thinking "November is half over and I have gotten nothing done." It is not true. Plenty has gotten done. Lessons I have planned and lessons that were unexpected. I think it is all the unexpected lessons that make me feel as if we have not achieved the goals I had set back in August.
I struggle with accepting the unexpected. I have a plan. Everything is supposed to go according to the plan. Life would be perfect if the plan was followed. I suppose my real struggle is accepting that life is not perfect. That it will never be perfect. I really should learn to go with the flow rather then fight the current. But how? How can I be more relaxed when I only have a few more years before my children are adults? There is so much for them to learn, to explore, to experience. So many things I want to share with them before they leave for college. So little time left!
Time keeps marching on. Whether I like it or not. My children keep getting older and wiser. They grow up so quickly. I miss my little babies. I pine for the newborn that nuzzled on my shoulder. I long for the toddler who was entertained for hours by a piece of string. I miss the innocence that I see slipping away with each passing day. I plan and G-d laughs.
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